6 months or more have passed since I left Les Deux Alpes. Am I a ski god? Unfortunately, I am currently more geek! But what happed?
I left Les Deux Alpes in Mid April, nearly missing my plane as I took a coach load of customers to their check-in, only to realise that my flight was before theirs. As they were passing through the airport they suddenly caught me running at high speed to catch my plane.
I made my way to my brother's house in Tunbridge Wells and started putting together the final plans for my next 8 weeks before returning to my job at BT. What plans I ask myself. The plan was to have as few plans as possible!
I organised to get my car serviced and MOTed to get it back on the road after 4.5 months in my parents' garage. In the meantime I was dependent on public transport and was amazed to find a bus that went from nearly outside my brother Charles' house to opposite my parents house 15 miles away. The bus journey may have taken more twice as long, but at least I could make the journey as most of my non skiing clothes were at my parents.
Slowly I gathered together my walking gear and decided that now was the chance to buy a bivi bag, or very small tent. For some reason I have always wanted a bivi bag. Don't ask.
My plans only went as far as arranging to catch up with Susan in Munich one weekend and head down to the Dolomites to do some walking and via ferrata climbing, or Klettersteig as the Germans call it. Nothing else, other than a ferry ticket and car insurance was organised.
After 10 days, I headed off by 13 year old Peugeot 306 to Dover to catch a ferry. The route went something as follows:
Strasbourg
Black Forest
Lindau on Lake Constance where I spent 3 nights
Algund / Merano where I spent a couple of nights
Munich for the weekend
Truden where I spent 3 nights
Pozza di Fassa for 4 nights
Canazei for 3 nights
Arabba with Colletts for 11 nights
Zug for 1 night
France
My memory is getting a bit hazy now.
I did as little driving on motorways, autoroutes, autobahns as I could. I did have 5 weeks to play with, so getting places fast was not critical. I was here to enjoy the view, find interesting places and do lots of walking.
I spent a day walking around Strasbourg. I regret not having a proper local meal of chouxcroute.
I explored the Black Forest by car. It was like driving through a holiday brochure in some places. I must come back.
I then ended up stopping at Lindau on Lake Constance where I set up my very small one man tent and hired a bicycle. I found the tent was very small. Well, it wasn't sub 1kg for nothing! I explored the centre of Lindau and the surrounding countryside on the city bike. The main memories are of lots of fruit farms selling fruit and home made obstler, as well as fresh lake fish.
Merano was where I got some hill walking in through vineyards and bought some wine.
Then I made a dash to Munich where we headed to southern Bavaria to do a number of walks and a cycle ride through Munich with a compulsory stop at a Biergarten.
I then headed south again and ended up in Truden where I nearly slid down a mountain onto a road! It was easy walking up the mountain, but very unstable coming down with stones and fircones making it hard to get a good grip. There were a large number of trees that had come down over the winter across paths.
It was while I was in Pozza di Fassa that I was playing with Twitter on my mobile phone and mentioned the Dolomites in a tweat, only to suddenly get an e-mail saying that "Mountain Holidays (Colletts)" was now following me. Colletts provided the photographs to the two books on via ferratta that I had with me. This e-mail prompted me to contact Colletts to see if they had started their summer season. They were starting in 5 days...
The weather was generlly very kind, although I did get caught in one almighty storm when I was staying in Canazei and was descending from the Pordoi Pass. I ended up making it to a road and hid under a bridge with a stream running through it. As the stream grew and ran more vigorously, I started to wonder if I was shelting in the best place from the heavy rain and hail!
I ended up in Arraba with Colletts. Finally, I did 3 via ferrata, but as I had found out over the previous few weeks, there was still a lot of snow on the mountains, so most via ferrata were still closed.
I originally booked one week with Colletts which I then extended to 11 nights, finally leaving to head off to Zug to catch up with an old school friend and family on my journey back home...
Wednesday, 4 November 2009
Friday, 10 April 2009
God I Need a Curry!
There is one other thing that I really miss. A good curry!
The eating arrangements are, as a ski guide, I eat guest breakfast, get my lunch for free at the mountain restaurants, join guests at afternoon tea with cakes, biscuits, ham and cheese, etc, and then have staff tea at 6pm, unless some guests invite me to join them for the guest 3 course dinner.
The worst meal of all the above is staff tea. Don't get me wrong, sometimes it can be excellent, but sometimes it is pretty poor. Yes, I have been made to eat Jamie Oliver's worst meal... Chicken nuggets and chips! Jamie, if I get this again, please save me!
Sometimes staff tea has been a curry, not a bad curry, but not a proper curry. I need a decent curry, very soon!
The eating arrangements are, as a ski guide, I eat guest breakfast, get my lunch for free at the mountain restaurants, join guests at afternoon tea with cakes, biscuits, ham and cheese, etc, and then have staff tea at 6pm, unless some guests invite me to join them for the guest 3 course dinner.
The worst meal of all the above is staff tea. Don't get me wrong, sometimes it can be excellent, but sometimes it is pretty poor. Yes, I have been made to eat Jamie Oliver's worst meal... Chicken nuggets and chips! Jamie, if I get this again, please save me!
Sometimes staff tea has been a curry, not a bad curry, but not a proper curry. I need a decent curry, very soon!
Things I Miss - 4 Months In
There are many things I miss but here is list of the ones that come to mind:
My Own Space - I am still sharing an apartment with an 18 year old and a 21 year old. Thankfully, for me anyway, the fourth person in the room who slept on the bunk above me got fired for being a not brilliant barman. It all seemed unfair, but now I have a small corner of the small apartment to myself. Sometimes it is good to be a little selfish!
A Toothpaste Free Sink - What is it with these young lads. They seem to squirt more toothpaste around the sink than they put on a toothbrush!
Clean Crockery - These young lads have been so spoilt that they think by putting a plate near the sink it will automatically wash itself. I have explained in detail that this is not the case. I wash them up so that I can have my toast on a clean plate. It's not magic!
A Pint of Bitter - Lager, lager, lager... Yuck! Give me a decent pint of bitter. Harvey's, Pedigree, London Pride, but not John Smith's Smooth.
Older Colleagues - All these young colleagues that I work with, whose average age is about half of mine, can be fun company for part of an evening, but I'm not sure I could manage it for another month. Thankfully, I don't have to!
Friends & Family - Yes, I miss my friends and family. I can contact them by e-mail, text or hand written letter, but it's just not the same. I'll be back soon!
Oh, there are so many other things I miss...
My Own Space - I am still sharing an apartment with an 18 year old and a 21 year old. Thankfully, for me anyway, the fourth person in the room who slept on the bunk above me got fired for being a not brilliant barman. It all seemed unfair, but now I have a small corner of the small apartment to myself. Sometimes it is good to be a little selfish!
A Toothpaste Free Sink - What is it with these young lads. They seem to squirt more toothpaste around the sink than they put on a toothbrush!
Clean Crockery - These young lads have been so spoilt that they think by putting a plate near the sink it will automatically wash itself. I have explained in detail that this is not the case. I wash them up so that I can have my toast on a clean plate. It's not magic!
A Pint of Bitter - Lager, lager, lager... Yuck! Give me a decent pint of bitter. Harvey's, Pedigree, London Pride, but not John Smith's Smooth.
Older Colleagues - All these young colleagues that I work with, whose average age is about half of mine, can be fun company for part of an evening, but I'm not sure I could manage it for another month. Thankfully, I don't have to!
Friends & Family - Yes, I miss my friends and family. I can contact them by e-mail, text or hand written letter, but it's just not the same. I'll be back soon!
Oh, there are so many other things I miss...
Life Distilled Down to Two Colours
My life has become very simple and straightforward.
I only have two keys: one green and one red:-
Green = Go = The key for the ski guides' room where I store my skis and boots.
Red = Stop - The key for the apartment where I go to bed to sleep. Note: Red rhymes with bed, a very useful aide-memoire when I have had a few drinks.
How simple is that? No other keys are required in my life out here.
I only have two keys: one green and one red:-
Green = Go = The key for the ski guides' room where I store my skis and boots.
Red = Stop - The key for the apartment where I go to bed to sleep. Note: Red rhymes with bed, a very useful aide-memoire when I have had a few drinks.
How simple is that? No other keys are required in my life out here.
Thursday, 26 March 2009
UPIs
Tuesday night was the Miss Les Deux Alpes competition.
It all started to get hazy after two Long Island Iced Teas at the bar in the hotel that I am based in as I prepared for the night.
I went as Boy George... Yes, I know, Boy George is a guy not a girl, but that is who I went as.
After finishing the Long Island Iced Teas and the make-up we went down to Smokey Joe's, the bar where the event was taking place. Being one of the contestants, I went back stage. A continuous supply of vodka bottles were being passed to us. That was probably the end of me!
All I know is that I didn't win. I fell off the judges' table and I woke up with a number of UPIs.
What is a UPI? Unidentified Party Injury.
Tuesday, 24 March 2009
Posh On The Slopes...
It's very important to protect your skin from the sun and glare of the sun from off the snow...
Well, that was my aim when I decided to purchase some factor 50 sun cream. The array of sun creams available in the shop in Grenoble I went to was large, and none of the brands were known to me. Eventually, I selected a tube of sun cream, paid for the most expensive sun cream I have ever bought and eventually returned home by bus.
It was only the next day when I squeezed the tube that I realised the cream was tinted! Not what I intended at all. This must be what Posh Spice uses...
Well, I bought the expensive stuff. I'll use it!
New Ski Boots!
It was finally time to buy some new ski boots. The inners have been "leaking" foam for about 6 weeks, but I have found a piste map acts as a very good shoehorn, holding the foam in place as I slip a foot into each boot.
...and hello to my new Salomon Falcons.
I went to 3 shops and tried on 8 different models of boot. Some models in several sizes... Trying on ski boots is a tiresome task. They might feel good in the shop, but the pain, if there is to be any, may take several hours of skiing to appear.
So... It's goodbye to my Nordica Grand Prix boots
...and hello to my new Salomon Falcons.
Thursday, 19 March 2009
St Patrick's Day
On St Patrick's Day I dressed up as a leprechaun, as one does...
There were a few people dressed up in green, but I didn't expect to find one of my close leprechaun relatives having a happy hour drink at the Pano Bar... It was so good to see him, that I kicked off my skis and ran to give him a big hug!
Sunday, 15 March 2009
La Grave Trip
La Grave is a unique ski area for off piste skiing and just a short trip over the top of the glacier from Les Deux Alpes.
http://www.la-grave.com/english/mythical-spot.php
A group of four of us booked up a guide for the day and headed for La Grave over the glacier. We were the first to ski the virgin snow on the top of the glacier.
There are plenty of great views of the glaciers.
After we reached the end of the glacier and tree line we had to pick our way through rocks and along a cliff before abseiling down it with our skis on.
We finished by a stream, crossing over a snow bridge where we then waited for a taxi to take us to the main La Grave lift where we did a couple of the more traditional runs.
http://www.la-grave.com/english/mythical-spot.php
A group of four of us booked up a guide for the day and headed for La Grave over the glacier. We were the first to ski the virgin snow on the top of the glacier.
There are plenty of great views of the glaciers.
After we reached the end of the glacier and tree line we had to pick our way through rocks and along a cliff before abseiling down it with our skis on.
We finished by a stream, crossing over a snow bridge where we then waited for a taxi to take us to the main La Grave lift where we did a couple of the more traditional runs.Wednesday, 4 March 2009
Monday, 2 March 2009
Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Apres Ski at The Pano Bar at 2650m
Apres ski... What is it?
Well, it usually involves a spot of drink...
Perhaps some music and dancing...
But not normally dancing quite like this...
It beats sitting at a desk, though!
Sunday, 22 February 2009
Piste Fashion Police #1
You will be amazed by the outfits some people think they can get away with wearing on the slopes. The most, erm, amazing tend to date from the 1980s. This one is a relatively mild example. I will add more outrageous and, erm, disgusting outfits as I catch them on film. The worst are the all-in-one bright multi-coloured ski suits. Or should I have said the best?! Don't worry, I will show you some of the most amazing and disgusting outfits as the weeks go on!
Thursday, 19 February 2009
Avalanche...
Avalanche is not just a dangerous snow slide, but also a nightclub in Les Deux Alpes.
Why did I end up there another time until 3:45am? I have no idea.
It's not the greatest place on earth by any means. It's fairly small and poky with a stage and a couple of poles for the more outgoing or alcohol influenced punters to dance on.
For some reason I let two of the young lads (and work colleagues) drag me there after an "Old Skool" night at another bar, Smokey Joes where I am writing this in the early afternoon, with three young Danish girls.
First I had to convince the staff on the door that I was a saisonaire in the resort for the whole season and not a punter on holiday for a week. This saves a lot of money, or approximately a quarter of my weekly earnings. The girl behind the counter did not want to believe me. She obviously thought I was far too old to be a saisonaire, but eventually her work colleague let me in.
Well, it is easy to forget that you are about twice the age of most people in the club after a few drinks and when you are surrounded by a sea of good looking young people. Yes, I started to dance. My dancing usually causes a number of reactions: shock, surprise, amusement, and many more! I think my style is best described as "crazed animal"! But it's not always quite so fast and wild, it all depends on the music.
Nothing much was going to happen in Avalanche that night as I had work the following day.
One thing that has to be mentioned is the owner of Avalanche. In summary he looks like a character that has just walked out of some cartoon; a big guy with a big quiff that sticks up vertically, large sideburns, big rimmed spectacles, jeans, waistcoat, and a tweed jacket, and often a hint of snow under his nose...
Why did I end up there another time until 3:45am? I have no idea.
It's not the greatest place on earth by any means. It's fairly small and poky with a stage and a couple of poles for the more outgoing or alcohol influenced punters to dance on.
For some reason I let two of the young lads (and work colleagues) drag me there after an "Old Skool" night at another bar, Smokey Joes where I am writing this in the early afternoon, with three young Danish girls.
First I had to convince the staff on the door that I was a saisonaire in the resort for the whole season and not a punter on holiday for a week. This saves a lot of money, or approximately a quarter of my weekly earnings. The girl behind the counter did not want to believe me. She obviously thought I was far too old to be a saisonaire, but eventually her work colleague let me in.
Well, it is easy to forget that you are about twice the age of most people in the club after a few drinks and when you are surrounded by a sea of good looking young people. Yes, I started to dance. My dancing usually causes a number of reactions: shock, surprise, amusement, and many more! I think my style is best described as "crazed animal"! But it's not always quite so fast and wild, it all depends on the music.
Nothing much was going to happen in Avalanche that night as I had work the following day.
One thing that has to be mentioned is the owner of Avalanche. In summary he looks like a character that has just walked out of some cartoon; a big guy with a big quiff that sticks up vertically, large sideburns, big rimmed spectacles, jeans, waistcoat, and a tweed jacket, and often a hint of snow under his nose...
Sunday, 15 February 2009
Meat Heads in Town...
One moment I was standing at the bar chatting to a friend, the next I caught the sight of a large shaven headed, tattooed meat head through the corner of my eye lunging towards me head first. I quickly realised he was trying to head butt me, but for what? I knew not. Thankfully, he only got a glancing blow as I dodged the main impact. Funny enough, he was thrown out of the bar very quickly. Was it the Kandahar soft shell top that drove him to it? I know not... The rest of the night passed with only silly banter and nutty dancing to some appalling karaoke sung by colleagues.
Thursday, 5 February 2009
Taking the Advanced/Fast Group
I haven't had so much fun so far as with the group that I skied with last week. They were all very good skiers and we had a laugh a minute as well as hitting all the difficult runs and even taking a trek off-piste when I was off duty and out of uniform.On the last two days I took out my camera and took around 200 photographs, mainly action shots with the zoon lens.
Wednesday, 7 January 2009
A Month In... Things I Miss...
You might think that there couldn't be anything that someone like me could miss when living in a ski resort and being paid to ski 6 days a week. But there are...
Privacy - I have no space of my own. My 'private' space is shared with three 18 year olds. The best thing, however, is that they are rarely in between 7pm and about 2am or later the following morning. But when they do return, they are likely to wake you up, sometimes dragging in some young girls to impress them with the apartment and the fact that they live with an old man! "How old?" one girl was heard to ask at 4:35am one morning...
Healthy Meals - Staff lunches, when not eating on the slope consist of soup, baguette, ham, cheese and lettuce. Staff suppers rarely have anything that looks like it grew in the ground. Chips, chicken nuggets, beef and mash potatoe seem to be the regulars.
Fresh Fruit - My body craves fresh fruit and I grab every opportunity to eat some, keeping a stock of fruit in the apartment and eating bowls of it, when allowed, from the guests' breakfast buffet.
A Comfortable Bed - My bed, or bottom bunk, is designed for children and the wooden slats that support the mattress regularly pop out as you roll over at night.
Lavatory Paper - This often goes missing from the apartment lavatory and can be found on the beds of the 18 year olds. It seems to disappear very quickly! I now keep a private stock to ensure I don't have to use an old newspaper or paperback book.
Newspapers - I have hardly seen any news. All I know is that most of the news is bad news, so perhaps not seeing a daily newspaper is not so bad. I occasionally do make it online and wonder why I started to look, so perhaps I don't miss newspapers.
A Decent Cup of Tea - I so miss a decent cup of tea.
The Archers - What is happening in The Archers? Actually, I'm not missing this so much.
The Tube - I'm not missing this at all! The Funicular railway under the glacier reminds me of The Drain, so it's not so distant.
Caffe Nero - I didn't think I would miss a decent cafe latte, but I do! Most of the coffees here are short and strong. I like strong, but I'd love a little more milk.
London Pride, Harvey's Best, etc - I do miss a pint of a decent ale, however Le Pub Windsor does have around 100 beers in stock and Kwak is on tap. It's a little on the strong side, but it beats all these horrible lagers!
Privacy - I have no space of my own. My 'private' space is shared with three 18 year olds. The best thing, however, is that they are rarely in between 7pm and about 2am or later the following morning. But when they do return, they are likely to wake you up, sometimes dragging in some young girls to impress them with the apartment and the fact that they live with an old man! "How old?" one girl was heard to ask at 4:35am one morning...
Healthy Meals - Staff lunches, when not eating on the slope consist of soup, baguette, ham, cheese and lettuce. Staff suppers rarely have anything that looks like it grew in the ground. Chips, chicken nuggets, beef and mash potatoe seem to be the regulars.
Fresh Fruit - My body craves fresh fruit and I grab every opportunity to eat some, keeping a stock of fruit in the apartment and eating bowls of it, when allowed, from the guests' breakfast buffet.
A Comfortable Bed - My bed, or bottom bunk, is designed for children and the wooden slats that support the mattress regularly pop out as you roll over at night.
Lavatory Paper - This often goes missing from the apartment lavatory and can be found on the beds of the 18 year olds. It seems to disappear very quickly! I now keep a private stock to ensure I don't have to use an old newspaper or paperback book.
Newspapers - I have hardly seen any news. All I know is that most of the news is bad news, so perhaps not seeing a daily newspaper is not so bad. I occasionally do make it online and wonder why I started to look, so perhaps I don't miss newspapers.
A Decent Cup of Tea - I so miss a decent cup of tea.
The Archers - What is happening in The Archers? Actually, I'm not missing this so much.
The Tube - I'm not missing this at all! The Funicular railway under the glacier reminds me of The Drain, so it's not so distant.
Caffe Nero - I didn't think I would miss a decent cafe latte, but I do! Most of the coffees here are short and strong. I like strong, but I'd love a little more milk.
London Pride, Harvey's Best, etc - I do miss a pint of a decent ale, however Le Pub Windsor does have around 100 beers in stock and Kwak is on tap. It's a little on the strong side, but it beats all these horrible lagers!
One Month In... The Job
To be paid to ski must be a great job. Well, yes, it is!
What can the down sides be? Well, there are quite a lot actually...
I have spent the last 5 days without a voice and have been guiding people around the slopes in the cold weather using what croaky voice I have left along with sign language and mime! I finally had to take a day off to see the doctor to finally try to restore my normal vocal abilities at the cheap price of 50€.
Occasionally guests have skiing accidents. So far I seem to have had to deal with two. The first guest that had an accident I made ski off the mountain, take a chair lift, then ski all the way off the mountain to the hotel where he was then driven to the local doctor's emergency department. He didn't have a broken leg, just a dislocated shoulder. The second accident involved the group setting off for a lovely day of skiing in falling snow only to be cut short within ten minutes. Very soon my hands were covered in blood as I tried to stem the bleeding from a scalp wound caused by a close encounter with a ski edge. All ended up well after 20 stiches.
I also have to share a room with three 18 year olds. Not only are they 18, but they are away from home for the first time. It's a little like living in an open zoo, sharing sleeping quarters with 3 chimpanzees. You never know what mess you will find the not-very-spacious living quarters in. Why can't 18 year olds squeeze a toothpaste tube without getting most of it all over the bathroom? Is there some special technique that I have learnt that I should be training them in? Any help would be gladly received.
What can the down sides be? Well, there are quite a lot actually...
I have spent the last 5 days without a voice and have been guiding people around the slopes in the cold weather using what croaky voice I have left along with sign language and mime! I finally had to take a day off to see the doctor to finally try to restore my normal vocal abilities at the cheap price of 50€.
Occasionally guests have skiing accidents. So far I seem to have had to deal with two. The first guest that had an accident I made ski off the mountain, take a chair lift, then ski all the way off the mountain to the hotel where he was then driven to the local doctor's emergency department. He didn't have a broken leg, just a dislocated shoulder. The second accident involved the group setting off for a lovely day of skiing in falling snow only to be cut short within ten minutes. Very soon my hands were covered in blood as I tried to stem the bleeding from a scalp wound caused by a close encounter with a ski edge. All ended up well after 20 stiches.
I also have to share a room with three 18 year olds. Not only are they 18, but they are away from home for the first time. It's a little like living in an open zoo, sharing sleeping quarters with 3 chimpanzees. You never know what mess you will find the not-very-spacious living quarters in. Why can't 18 year olds squeeze a toothpaste tube without getting most of it all over the bathroom? Is there some special technique that I have learnt that I should be training them in? Any help would be gladly received.
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